Meanwhile, last week was a flurry of online activity.
After my sweet but uninspiring lunch date with Mat-with-one-t, who I may be going out for a walk with later this week, because see below about never having too many friends, especially to go walking with, Spaniel Norm from Thornton Hough, Irish Brendan from Stoke, Fantasy Andy from Runcorn and Lee from Wallasey enter stage right.
Spaniel Norm proved to be an interesting player in this drama. He wanted my mobile number so that he could call me. He did. He was chatty and funny for a few minutes, then asked about my offspring. Now, it may be bad and wrong for me to use my transgender daughter as a filter for choosing a date, but if I have to explain to someone what 'LGBT' stands for, along side 'RP' in the context of my accent, I'm fairly sure the relationship is never going to work. Especially when it is accompanied by phrases like 'but he's a really nice person when you get to know him' when referring to a trans person. Saved by my dinner being ready, I ended the conversation, sent a polite text wishing him well in his search for female company, and blocked his number.
Armed with this filter, I enter into conversation with Lee from Wallasey. Lee asks a lot of questions about my tattoos. My Tinder account is linked to my Facebook account, and most of my profile pics are from FB. Tinder seems to have decided that my main pic should be a photo of the tattoos on my back. I probably could change it, by deleting it from the server, but it makes for an interesting conversation starter, if nothing else. Frankly, if a guy doesn't like heavily tattooed women, we're never going to get past the messaging stage anyway.
Lee seems interesting, good writer, passes the LGBT test with flying colours, asking intelligent questions about my offspring's coming out and transition, then he asks about the significance of the caracal tattoo on my back.
Me: Do you want the short answer, or the 'OMG-this-woman's-a-complete-nut-job-get-me-out-of-here-now' answer?
Him: Give me the full nut-job answer, and don't leave anything out!
So I told him. I told him about Totems, and travelling on the Astral Plane, and Power Animals, and I left nothing out. He seemed to swallow it. Well, he did ask!
He then asked about other body modifications. I told him about the facial piercings, the stretched earlobes, the funny coloured hair and the dreadlocks.
Him: Oh, none of that is visible in your profile pics
Me: Oh, sorry, I did my best!
Him: Well, I did swipe right...
Nothing. Vanished. Gone. Unmatched! Guy seemingly swallows a ton of magical bollocks about astral travel, but baulks at possibly dating a woman with visible piercings and dreadlocks. Weird. Never mind. Onward and upward.
The first also-ran is Irish Brendan from near Stoke who cycles everywhere, works with young men with behavioural problems, likes Christie Moore and wants to meet for tea on Wednesday in Nantwich. Today is Wednesday, and we have not confirmed, so I guess that one has gone by the board. He seemed nice, funny and friendly, and the gods know I'm a sucker for an Irish accent, but again, I'm not going to take it personally. I hope he finds what he's looking for.
Fantasy Andy is another interesting also-ran who may yet make a re-appearance. Early 40s, works as a chef near Runcorn, and has two young children, one of whom is on the spectrum. We discover a shared love of the works of Joe Abercrombie, his son having been named Logan after the Bloody Nine. Look him up if you aren't familiar; Abercrombie knocks spots off anything churned out and badly edited by George RR Martin. We haven't made any plans to meet, but he's a busy man, still sends me the occasional message, and we have promised ourselves a good old geek-out session over Mr Abercrombie.
Which brings us to the weekend, Scooter Tony, Deva Don and John the Druid, but that will have to wait until later.
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